Count down to the "Dinner and Dance"

Fiuhh.. I've bought the ticket already.

I actually did not want to come, with thousands of reasons that come into my mind.

I didn't want to waste my time partying, a kind of "throwing my money away" just for a night, for an event which I wasn't sure I would enjoy.

Seriously, there was no reason for me to come. What for?

If not because of my friends,

if not because of my promises,

I surely won't come.

I have lots of things to do. I am stressed out with a lot of things in my life. I need to breath. I need to be alone. Without no one disturbs me. Without no one distracts me. I wanna cry out loud. All those things I couldn't do in a party, where all of my friends with big wide smiles taking care of their partners, enjoying the performances, having slow dance together, no no no. Not that kind of relaxation that I need. I want to be alone. I just want to be alone, where I can cry.

But, I will waste my SGD 30 if I don't come. My friends were happy after knowing I have bought the ticket, but what will happen if I'm not coming tomorrow? Actually I have no problem giving away my SGD 30 for them, but I know they hope me to come. That's what they want me to do.

Should I come? Should I fulfill their hope? Or should I just listen to my heart, to not coming tomorrow?

Pianistically yours,

C. L.